Where Will the Children Spend Christmas? Navigating the Holidays After Separation

For many families, Christmas is a time of laughter, love, and togetherness. But when parents separate, the holidays can bring a wave of mixed emotions for both the adults and, especially, for the children. Deciding where children will spend Christmas is one of the most sensitive challenges parents face.

The good news? With care, communication, and a bit of planning, it is possible to make Christmas joyful and stress-free for everyone.

Joanne Stones explains the importance of legal advice when making arrangements early to keep the festive season as happy as it can be.

Start With What’s Best for the Children

The most important question isn’t “Who gets Christmas this year?” It’s “What will make Christmas happiest and most comfortable for our children?”

Children thrive on routine and security. Sudden changes in how the holidays are celebrated can feel unsettling. When possible, keep some familiar traditions, whether it’s baking cookies, decorating the tree, or opening presents in a certain order even if the setting is different.

Ask your children what matters most to them. Sometimes, simply being heard helps them feel secure and loved.

Alternate Holidays Fairly

One of the most common arrangements is alternating Christmas each year. For example:

In even-numbered years, the children spend Christmas Eve and morning with Mum, and Christmas Day afternoon with Dad.
In odd-numbered years, the schedule reverses.

Some families find that alternating the entire holiday each year (so one parent has Christmas one year, the other parent the next) works better, particularly when travel or extended family visits are involved.

Whatever the schedule, consistency is key. Having a predictable plan helps children adjust and look forward to their time with each parent.

Consider Splitting the Day — But Carefully

For younger children or families who live close to each other, splitting Christmas Day can work well. For example, children might wake up in one home, enjoy lunch there, and then head to the other parent’s house for dinner and presents.

However, if long travel or tense interactions are likely, this setup can become stressful. The goal is to create joy, not a rushed day that leaves children feeling torn between two homes.

Celebrate Twice!

Who says Christmas only happens once? Many separated parents choose to create two special celebrations, one at each home.

If Mum celebrates on Christmas Eve and Dad on Boxing Day, the children get double the love and double the fun. What matters most is the spirit of connection, not the exact date on the calendar.

Keep Communication Open (and Kind)

The holidays can stir up old emotions. But keeping communication respectful and focused on the children makes everything smoother.

If possible, use co-parenting apps, shared calendars, or written plans to avoid misunderstandings. And remember when children see their parents cooperating, they feel safe and secure which is the best gift of all.

Include Extended Family Thoughtfully

Grandparents, cousins, and aunts often play a big role in holiday traditions. If both sides of the family are eager to see the children, we recommend to plan ahead. Alternating years or hosting joint gatherings (if comfortable) can help children feel connected to both sides of their family tree.

Make New Traditions

Separation brings change but it also brings opportunity. Maybe you and your child start a new Christmas Eve movie night, or volunteer together in the community. These new rituals can be meaningful and healing.

Final Thoughts

When parents separate, Christmas can feel complicated, but it doesn’t have to be sad. With love, flexibility, and planning, children can experience the holidays as a time of warmth, belonging, and joy in both homes.

After all, Christmas isn’t about where you are it’s about who you share your heart with.

How our team can help

At Johnson and Boon Solicitors, our family law team understand how important Christmas is for families especially for children. We work sensitively and proactively to help parents reach fair, child-focused arrangements.

If you’re unsure about your rights or struggling to agree on Christmas contact, don’t wait until December. We’re here to help make this Christmas a little less stressful for everyone, contact our family law team today at Johnson and Boon Solicitors for expert legal advice and support on 0151 637 2034.